Archive for January, 2014

Back to the Job Market

I actually started to apply back into the job market today.  I sent some boiler-plate resume and cover letters to some local small businesses, but I actually made progress in sending some resume.

It takes courage to walk through fear.  However, I finally accomplished what I set out what I intended to do after several days.

January 31, 2014 at 4:57 am Leave a comment

Now It Is Time Again

It is time again to get back to work. To face old fears again.  To realize that I have to look for a job and fast.A job is something that I face.  I have no choice but to face my fear of putting an application out there and dealing with my fear. Fear is difficult thing to swallow, but your must to learn face fear straight down and not let it rule your life.

Fear is something to be overcomed and dealt with.

January 31, 2014 at 1:05 am Leave a comment


It is hard to ride out the wave of discouragement. One needs to get the repair of their self-confidence.  Loss of self-confidence in recovery is a difficult things to face.

It is what leads us back to the bottle.  To pick up that drink and pour that elixir of wine.  The alcohol seems so tempting.  But then, we remember how much pains it bring.  The pain it brings to us and others.  Do we really want to relive that pain?

The best thing is to give out to higher power.  Something greater than myself.  Something that I cannot see or touch. Something beyond my comprehension as a mere mortal.

To trust and release your fears and anxiety to force that you cannot see or cannot fathom is a difficult part.  Faith is often comes difficult to those with a logical mind.  However, when life circumstances are bad, we turn to power greater than we fathom.

This is how recovered alcoholic or addict survives disappointment or failure.

January 30, 2014 at 5:54 pm Leave a comment

Data Entry Is A Tedious Task, But Must Be Learned How tod

Trying to find a solution to the ADHD seems to be baffling.  Few people seem know how to answer the problem on how to develop better data entry skills for me. 

Data entry is the bain of any people with ADHD. People with ADHD are stuck with the process where they have to deal with entering a large amount of copious data entry in a long period of time. It is easy for individual to make many mistakes and screw something up.

When data entry mistakes happens, they cost the organization valuable time, money, and loss of productivity.  Unfortunately data entry is something that I am going to learn how to deal with.  It just seems that this problem will not go away until I seriously address it. Every job that it is in my field requires data entry.


I just going to have to learn get better at it so I do not lose future positions and I can really excel at the productivity that I deserve to get it.

January 30, 2014 at 1:01 am Leave a comment

Doing Better

Yes, today was another day in my life as I realized how my ADHD affected me.  I realized calmly to accept my issues in life.  I realize that I do not have the power to change the circumstances that are in my life, but only to move forward. Moving forward from a job life without emotional distress can be a huge challenge, but somehow I did that.

The thing that I have to remember is how I am going to handle my ADHD in the workplace. What are the steps that I need to take to put full concentration into the job?  How I am going to input large amounts of data from source documents?  Do I need practice or other issues?  Is this problem neurological and beyond my control?

These are only the questions that I am going to discover my own through my own research.  Only I can unlock the mystery of my ADHD.  For too long, I made autism the central problem in my life.  In reality, ADHD was the central disorder while the cases of OCD and autism were very mild.  My psychologist tried to treat the autism phase without understanding the ADHD was the primary disorder and OCD and autism were the secondary disorders.  

After my job loss, I have gained the insight that ADHD is primary problem and not OCD.  Perhaps, by learning to tackle the ADHD portion of my disorder will I finally gain the insight into the struggles that plagued me my entire life. 

January 29, 2014 at 6:17 am Leave a comment

Disappointment Abounds

Tommorow, marks another day in the eternal disappointment in life.  Feeling that life is constantly disappointing myself, I find few solutions.  I find that my life is going to change, but I do not not what direction it is going in.

I feel that I should pay attention more.  I should have done more.  I feel that I need to help, but I really do not how to deal with it. Right, I just sit on the internet right now to numb the pain.  Reading the news is emotionless activity.  It is addicting for me, but better than drinking right now.

I could awash in alcohol right now.  Soaked with drinking wine.  Alone on the bench.  Holding that bottle, alone, and depressed.  Living in the streets with nowhere to go.  Nowhere to go.

I just do not handle the stress of a job without breaking my concentration.  I feel random though abound

January 28, 2014 at 5:55 am Leave a comment

ADHD and the dreaded

I have fought a lifetime against ADHD.  I thought that I could beat it and I thought that I could function as a normal person.  Such truth is an illusion.  It is an illusion to think that you cannot deal with disorder that severely impairs your ability to focus on an extraneous.

Such has been a struggle my entire life.  To be part of the present and the ability to enter a tremendous amount of data from source documents to the computer.  As an accountant, it is one of the most important of the job and yet my ability to focus on vast amount of details has always been a struggle.  

I struggle to answer how to make suddenly accurate.  How to end the vast amount of chatter in my brain and be able to focus with pure concentration.  Such is the bane of somebody with severe ADHD.  Especially when I have extreme time demands.  

How I do cope with this problem? How I do answer this challenge. How I do learn to enter source documents into the computer without making zero mistakes.  I feel so discouraged right now.  I feel myself let down right now.  I have tried so hard to get a job and then all of my efforts are gone.

I just want a job where I am not set up for failure. How do I solve this problem? I do not know at this time. 

January 28, 2014 at 2:40 am Leave a comment

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