Posts filed under ‘Uncategorized’

Moving Out of the Golden State

So I hear people are packing up their bags moving from CA to pursue cheaper cost of living in other places. It makes total sense if you have family somewhere else but otherwise, I would find it quite perplexing to move to a place where you have no connections. Sometimes, it makes me feel “Why I am not doing that?”. Why I am not moving to a place that is more conservative culturally and socially in exchange for a lower cost of living and where I can have a house and a big dog? The problem is that I have zero family in other places (except for Phoenix) and no friends. And that I manage eek out enough to rebuild my savings again by living in a low-cost situation in Garden Grove, CA. I think a big reason is that I have already accepted that the fact that I will not have my own apartment and that I will take public transit (even if I get a car). and that lowers my the cost of living which turns me into a net saver than a debtor. Motivation to stay is also done out of fear of the unknown and not willing to take huge risks for something with ambiguous outcomes is probably another huge reason not to move,

In conclusion, I am not moving out of the Golden State any time soon.


December 4, 2017 at 12:09 am Leave a comment

Superficial Relationships

One thing that I noticed at the convention is my desire to be around people.  But I would rather remain quiet. I think the real problem is that I do not develop a strategy to try to take steps to increase my friendships.  I always do not be labeled as a pest or hang-oner.  I have no problem saying hello or having a shallow conversations.  
Yet, deeper friendships are harder.  Like at the NA convention tonight.  Given the number of people that I know in the OC area, I should have gotten an ride.  But my relationship with all 100+ plus people that I know would be considered to be shallow and superfuicial.  This is done partly by me by being distance and not getting people’s telephone number because I would rather be absorbed on social media during my 2.5 hours commute to Pasadena. (The only reason why I have not moved is that one of my roommates is like a second mother to me and you just cannot replace that with a random roommate on a Craigslist, I 
I am also finding out that these people in OC that I count on to be my friends are much shallower relationships compared to the Burner relationships.  With the Burner group, at least, those relationships are signficantly deeper and have extended over time.  
Part of the problem is my stubborness to get a car. Part of it is that I reluantance to take the risk to call these people and engage in a conversation.  
Maybe, I do not understand friendships that well and how they form. I just take that process for granted.  Any relationship that I have built over time comes through face to face contact at a group event and than it is based on how much time that I have seen you.   I just would rather hide in social media than engage in uncomfortable conversation with somebody on the phone.  Even in the cases when I am on the phone, I usually time the conversation to the length based on how comfortable that I am with the individual.
Now face-to-face, I do much better.   I have been able to engage very well on one on one conversation a lot better with people recently.  But it is still the ten pound phone and desire to hide on social media than face that uncomfortable conversation and interrupting somebody especially when I am busy.
The reality is that I should have zero-tolerance with my bullshit excuses about calling people and realize  that social connections is most likely how I am going to land my next job.
At least at this event, I just need to connect with people and let the magic happen even though these are supefucial relationships. Moving to LA would force me to change everything because it is between me and the bottle if I do not make friends up there.  Living in OC allows me comfortable to hide and be alone because I can rely on that roommate, or my sponsor, or my mom when the times bad.  I do not need to turn these supefuical relationships in NA to find friends, but up in LA, that no longer becomes a choice.   
The superfucial relationships will continue to happen in OC due to very lengthy commute that I have.  My commute and need for exercise prevents me from attending a lot of the meetings that I would normally go during the week. Also, another committment prevents me go to another meeting where I could maintain my commute and still have close connections to few friends that live down there.
Unfortunately, neither scenarios are going to happen and I am ultimately going to face the CPA exam again. There is no way that I am going to advance professionally until that exam is passed.  I like the company that I work form but I cannot remain there forever with my skillset and the CPA only validates that.
Anyways, I guess I just listen to the speaker tonight and let go and let live.

November 25, 2017 at 3:00 am Leave a comment

COmputer Problems

I have a computer problem again! Oh Cool

November 20, 2017 at 6:09 pm Leave a comment

COmputer Problems

I have a computer problem again! Oh Cool

November 20, 2017 at 6:09 pm Leave a comment

Another Take on Ossoff/Handal

I do agree that Jon Ossoff was a poor candidate for the GA-6 race. He did not have any real vision for his Congressional race and did not offer any bold, progressive vision for Georgia.

Despite being a weak candidate, there was another major factor why he lost and it is has nothing to do with him. Hillary Clinton could have won the electoral vote despite also being a weak candidate as well. It is voter suppression tactics and it is dirty secret of the 2016 general election and this primary race.

From [Greg Palast’s Blog}(

“I was in Georgia’s 6th Congressional District to investigate strange doings in the race between Democrat Jon Ossoff and Republican Karen Handel (who received an endorsement—and kiss on the lips—from President Trump).

Handel was happy as a Smurf doll when I asked her if the Democrats were stealing the election. (“They’re pulling out all the stops!!”)

But when I asked about Republican Jim Crow tactics I’d uncovered, it got real ugly. First, a deep-fry-bloated goon jumped between me and the candidate then pushed me backwards. A second grabbed my arm while a third started muscling me around.”

I heard this guy on the Thom Hartmann several weeks before the actual election happened and he warned about this happening. If Palast theory is correction and I know this guy has a spot-on record, Ossoff actually won these seat if the GOP played by the rules. But they did not and he lost.

The reality is that the Dems needs to factor that specific percentage of votes are going to be thrown out because of voter suppression tactics in their election planning strategies. There is no way around this until the day that the federal government declares this stuff as a felony and you start to see GOP Secretary of States starting head off the penitentiary for civil right violations. For me, this type of voter suppression is essentially engaging in voter fraud and therefore, is considered to be felonious activity.

Ossoff is not a desirable candidate but he should have won if the rules were done correctly. But they are not and therefore, you need to run a candidate that actually appeals to the white middle-class voters that is a real Democrat and not somebody who be called a moderate Republican in another generation. You have to win this election on class issues and not race, religion, or identity politics. Sorry, talking about class issues that broadly affect all races and not giving into the temptation of race, religion, gun, or identity politics is the only way to win.

June 25, 2017 at 3:08 pm Leave a comment

Scalise and Resentment

So today, I get a bunch of newsflashes on my phone as I take the Metrolink train up to LA. It states that some guy shot a Congressman named Steve Scalise. For a moment, I though this person had a personal connection to the Congressman and that this was some kind of mass shooting similar to many, many shootings that occur in this country every day.

Only later in the day, did my Facebook feed appear with a status update from a friend that stated that she turned off her Facebook feed and decide go hiking in the woods. In her posting, she discussed that the person was a Bernie Sanders supporter. The moment that when that happened, something went off.

I went back into the office after reading that posting while I was sitting on the john. I looked my coworker and gave her a frown. Instantly, my mood change from happiness to sadness. Sadness because the endless virtol that fills our airwaves today finally claimed a victim.

I could just see this guy spending hours and hours on the internet sitting and obessing about Trump. How he was personally angry by what was Trump was doing to the country and how the country was going downhill. Constant anger and resentment was building in this guy’s mind to the point where he needed to engage in an armed criminal action against a sitting member of Congress.

Steve Scalise was a typical right-wing Congressman who had a extremely flawed ideology and voting record but none of his action merited a man driving to Illinois to shoot him down. Steve Scalise by all accounts was just a typical person from Louisana who held a very conservative view of the world just like many white people from that part of the country. However, he is a person just like my old track coach, my old youth pastor, a very attractive woman in one of my NA meetings, or one of my friends in AA. They are people just like you and me, but they have flaws. In this guy’s case, he just a very flawed ideology and he held a position of significant political power.

When you get consumed by resentment and anger, you let your emotions get the best out of your. Your anger and resentment turns into dangerous emotions that will destroy relationships and friendships. I have seen people hold resentment for years and years to never let go and lose friendships over personal conflict. The program of recovery of NA and AA makes consistent references in the recovery literature to let go of anger and resentment because they are toxic to the recovering addict. Learning to let go and understand your powerlessness to control situtations leads to better control of resentment. Learning to forgive and understand that somebody whose political ideology who does not agree with yours has the right to be your friend is okay. Learning that you cannot control the individuals actions and that somehow your anger is going to make the situation better is not going to help.

In this guy’s case, he forgot the concept of powerlessness and control. In this guy case, he failed to understand that he cannot magically control Steve Scalise’s action by his furious wrath against the GOP and that Mr. Scalise and the GOP are going to bend to his personal will by shooting him. He was trying to play the role of God/fate by shooting this guy. In reality, the only real way to get results was to learn patience and wait the 2018 midterms for the GOP majority to blown out in a wave election by Justice Democrats. The GOP has their view set in stone based on years and years of a toxic mix of Christian dominionism, racial superiority sown by generations and generations, and unquestioning blind faith in free markets. It would take something akin to a national truth and reconciliation commission where the Southern whites would perform a collective moral inventory of resentment, character flaws, and fears that would led to mutual understanding that their thinking is stinking thinking. However, until that time comes, we cannot control those people as progressives. We have to learn that these people have deep flaws but they are one of us. They are Americans just like all of us. They have lots of strengths that make this country great except for really bad political views. And a lot of ways liberals are no better.

This guy wanted to play God and he finally got shot for trying play God. His anger was spilt on people that he could not control and only those people can change if they want to. He should kept on going with political activism by trying to get people elected that would blow these people in future midterms and ultimately get enough dems in the statehouse to ensure that Democrats gerrymand the districts in 2020 in order to make the GOP into minority party for good.

We do not this anger and vitrol. It is perfectly okay to think that the other side political thinking is grossly flawed, but it is not okay to make them objects of hate and make them subhuman.

I know my grammar is not perfect but I felt like that I just had to drop a rant and write from the heart instead of writing well-written blog. A moment like this requires writing from the heart instead of trying to write a scripted piece. Peace out

Our political vitrol has stripped away the humanity of people that we disagreed.

June 15, 2017 at 3:11 am Leave a comment

Curt Schilling Blames Politics For Lack of Hall Induction. I think Not

Another conservative idiot makes this remark (

“Former Major League Baseball star Curt Schilling said in an interview with TMZ Sports that the outspokenness of his political views are keeping him out of the MLB Hall of Fame.

“[Voters] are not hiding the fact that they’ve stopped voting for me because of the thing I’ve said on social media,” Schilling said. “That’s their prerogative as voters.”

“If I had said, ‘Lynch Trump,’ I’d be getting in with about 90 percent of the vote this year,” he added.

Schilling’s lifetime regular season numbers included a 216-146 record, 3.46 ERA and 3,116 strikeouts (15th all-time per Baseball Reference) are good career numbers, but his postseason 11-2 record with a 2.23 ERA in 19 starts and three World Series titles make him among the elite.

Schilling did say that if he does not get voted in, then so be it.”

I doubt that his politics keep him out of the Hall of Fame.  I am not a knowledgeable baseball expert though but I really do think it his politics.

January 2, 2017 at 6:26 pm Leave a comment

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