This Is What Meth Does To You

So I found out on KTLA (http://ktla.com/2015/01/01/pregnant-mother-arrested-in-norcal-after-baby-dies-of-meth-poisoning/)

” Northern California woman was arrested this week in connection with the death of her 2-month old baby, who died of acute methamphetamine poisoning, police said Tuesday.

The two-month old infant passed away in June at a hospital after experiencing symptoms including choking and difficulty breathing, according to a news release from the Fairfield Police Department.

An investigation began the following month after the infant’s cause of death was determined.

During the course of the investigation, Fairfield police identified the mother as 21-year-old Shelby Frederick, and determined that she had full care and custody of the child, the release stated.

Frederick, who is five months pregnant, was detained on Dec. 30. She was subsequently arrested and booked into Solano County Jail on a charge of assault of a child causing death, according to the release.

This is insanity of drug addiction. Drugs make you insane and make your life permanently unmanageable. Unfortunately, for this woman, it is life sentence for efforts because she failed to deal with addiction

Thoughts on Random Websurfing

For the first time in my life, I am troubled by my internet web surfing. I used to be able surf the internet for hours and hours on end.  Suddenly, it produces more anxiety than it use to.  Random web surfing used to be something that I could enjoy for hours.  I just surfed to my hearts content.

Now, it suddenly because an issue that drives that a high level of anxiety.  I think that it is because that I am expected to give up random websurfing as a part of my personal growth.  It is supposed to be when I go the web, I have a specific purpose like watch a Jon Stewart video, download an IRS tax form, look up at bus route, or check my Facebook account a couple of times a day.

My personal evolution which my AA sponsor who probably confirm states that I should admit that I should not engage in random websurfing and that involves into a bad behavior.  Instead, I should be trying new things like reading a book, going to a detox, and watching what my roommates on TV and just do not get up to surf the internet.  That means remained glued to the TV until I go to be because this an exercise in contrary action.

If I come at home at 10:00 PM and watch the KTLA news, that it is not considered to be random websurfing. I am watching the local TV news because I am unable to watch it on the regular TV news and my focus is at one thing at one time.

I think the bigger picture is that my brain is not wired for multi-tasking as much as this generation glorifies the multi-tasker. For too long, I felt like that I can do two things at one time: one thing pleasurable and one thing comfortable.  Now being more aware of how ADHD mind works, random websurfing might be considered to be unaccountable.  Unlike normal person, I have that AA sponsor every night when I make the call and he can chew me out on this issue.

The real challenge is to pick up reading as a hobby or start to watch what other people want to watch on TV.  I do not think that blogging counts as random websurfing because I am usually connecting on my feeling on a personal or a political issue that I feel strongly emotional.

In conclusion, certain tasks are not random websurfing because they have a specific purpose.  However, random websurfing is should be considered as “addict behavior” and avoided at all costs.  And yes, my AA sponsor can chew me out on this issue even I though do not need him to do so.  Since he is a sponsor, he has right to do so because one day, it will be me chewing out a sponsee for not taking actions to deal with his potential shortcomings

Suicide

I have never thought suicide be a way to end life. Suicide has conseqences and especially, in my belief system, eternal conseqences. Currently, they are lots of people who are depressed and think that the gun is the best way to win a life. The number of calls at suicide prevention places are up by 50% as estimated by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

The increased amount of calls has resulted from economic distress. People losing their home or jobs creates a major stressor that people might not have an adequate coping skills to deal with. It is vital to have strong support network and spirituality to endure brutal times.

Having a higher power of something is vital to survive through economic hard times. For me, the higher power is God (Christian God) and a lot of people in life do not have a higher power. They think that material things will provide for their happiness. When hard times comes upon those person, they become insular and isolated.

Oftens drugs and alcohol are used to numb the pain. This road does not work because it will lead to self-destruction. If you are thinking about using and drinking to deal with the hard times, drop that bottle or drug and head down to your local AA/NA or non 12-step fellowship in your county. These fellowships will provide spiritual or positive thinking techniques to deal with addiction. In reality, all of these fellowships can teach how to live life.

There are people that want to help you. You might discover the ones that want to help might have problems far worse than you do but they know how to cope. Learn from them and lean on them for life.

Even if there is no god, do you want your live to go into eternal blackness. Does a state of nonexistance makes you happy? You cannot longer feel, touch, hear, or see. You are nothing. And you killed your self for nothing. There is no glory about suicide. It is painful and sad experience and it is not worth it