Random Websurfing and Overstimulation

February 15, 2014 at 11:03 pm Leave a comment

For a long time, I have always wondered about the internet’s impact on my life.  For a long time, I always have engaged in random websurfing.  I created various methods to randomly surf the internet which fuels my constant ability to be glued to a computer.

Normal activities like reading become tedious and boring.  Even watching a movie or television series becomes difficult. It takes an act of intensive concentration and discipline just to sit to watch a movie.

Reading a book is more difficult.  When the constant internet stimulus is taken away, I read a lot, but it almost takes me to actively counter the action.  It really does.

I do not why overstimulation is my issue.  Maybe is that my brain is looking for constant stimulus when it is silent. I know that music can do a lot to calm me down. 

Pop music seems not to help me not focus.  Rather, ambient music and even death metal helps me to focus.  You might think that death metal might be a good way to focus, but for me, it channels all of the external stimuli out there.

Yes, I listen to death metal, but I am no pagan at all. Rather, my brain likes certain types of metal and knows how to zone out on the music.

I think that I got the ability to focus on tasks on a long time because I have the music down.   I think that death metal and ambient music help drain out my ability to be overstimulated and focus on one tasks.

Now, the real task is how to avoid the hyperstimulation of the internet and substitute other hobbies for random websurfing.  Overstimulation, the desire to get overstimulated, and stress has been major factors why I have struggle keep jobs in my professions.

It is that I am just not honest with myself in these areas.  Honesty means having to admit a weakness or flaw to oneself. Honesty to oneself is perhaps the most difficult concept.

Learning to deal with these problems will take personal effort and willingness to overcomes these character defects.  That is what AA teach us in these days.





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