First Gray Hair

March 12, 2011 at 9:44 pm Leave a comment

While I was at my grandma’s 95th birthday today, my mom remarked that I am getting my first gray hair.  Ouch! Getting gray hair!  I do not want to get gray hair!

Gray hair makes me look old.  And I cannot escape from Father Time.  Father Time is reminding that I am headed to towards middle age and there is nothing that I can stop.  There is no eternal fountain of youth that can save me.

Now, I am beginning to realize that I am beginning to get too old to date somebody under 30 even before I start to formally date people.   I no longer feel young even though I am in very good health and can run up to six miles without real getting tired.

If I was playing sports, I would be an old-timer and looking at the twilight of my career.  I would be getting gray hair and no longer the study.

When I look to my friends, the reality is that I do not feel as old.  In reality,  it is easier for me to get along with people who are in middle ages.  Most of the woman that showed interest in me have been usually older than I am.

The reality is that getting older is a mixed bag. You can gain more wisdom about life, but you no longer feel young.   The best way to age is age with acceptance.  Accept for yourself who are and do not try to live in the glory days of your youth.

I feel that “glory days of my youth” is actually an oxymoron.  I believe that my best days are ahead as my social functioning grows and my ability to live my own increases .  The ability to have a relationship with the opposite sex will happen when I have the proper social and emotional awareness to do so.  I also have to remember at the age of 25, I was not capable of living independently.  I was not aware that I had autism and therefore, the tools to help me to deal with my shortcomings were not there at the time.

It might have taken me longer for me to achieve what a normal person achieves in society, but it takes a long time for a autism to bloom into a fully-functioning person in society.   And so I accept that I am late bloomer in life and that my best days are in the future, and were not in the past.  And turning 34 in three months is not the end of the world, but a start to a new phase in life.

And maybe, I will live to 95 just like my grandma did.

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