On God

October 4, 2010 at 7:43 pm Leave a comment

The Big Book of AA states on page 55

“”Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man,
woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured
by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form
or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and
miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as
old as man himself.”

I deeply stuggle with existence of God at this point of my life. I believe that all of humans have the fundamental idea of God whether it means a divine being of infinite power or what I call Good Orderly Direction. The latter belief implies that there is a some form of moral compass that guides us all. Humans always have a moral compass throughout the centuries and that has guide through time. Whether the moral compass is part of human evolution (which I believe in) or something that inspired by divine being, it drives the basis of moral and ethical system of society. When people turn away from it and follow themselves in self-will, disaster is reaped upon society.

Following this moral compass is the only thing that is going to keep me sober. And I can rely on it whether it was created by mankind without inspiration from a divine being or inspiration

I know that following the moral compass will not save from my sin, because that requires the infinite grace of God (if he does exist) and I have no solutions to the sin problem. However, the moral compass will keep me sober and that is very important so I have the ability to make conscious contact with a divine being and experience the infinite grace of God. For if I drink, I will never able to make conscious contact with God (Christian) if he does exist,

I do not know whether God (Christian) does exist, a universal higher conscious, or there is no God in the universe. I do not have any proof. I see evidence that God does exist from the lives of my Christian friends, and I know that the gift of faith has power. I have seen it with my own eyes.

I call my God to be Good Orderly Direction and that is what I follow right now. I cannot make a definitive conclusion whether the God (Christian) exists, but I do not have enough evidence to thoroughly state that it is not true. I lean towards the facts that he does not exist, but I also see the power of his faith and in grace in certain people that make me wonder if he does exist. I also wonder if there is a universal energy that binds and unites us.

For the rest of my life, I have to make a journey or quest to see what God actually is. I am early in my spiritual quest and it might turn out that the atheists are right and God comes with from our wisdom. I might also found that there is God of infinite grace that has the power to save myself from my depravity. Or God is really the cosmic energy of this infinite and wonderous universe.

I know that however, that if I follow God, I will remain sober whether the atheists, the Christians, or the pantheists are right.


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