Musings On Being Alone on Sunday Afternoon

June 20, 2010 at 9:12 pm Leave a comment

The one thing that I hate about sunny weather is that I feel guilty for being on the computer. It feels that I have constantly be out in the sunshine enjoying life. I think that I have fear that if I venture alone for hours that I will feel lonely in a large crowd of people. The computer act as a security blanket and I hide on it so I can escape from the lonely feelings.

Maybe, I should start to work for my employers on my own time just to escape these feelings. Trying to call somebody does not work all of the time.

Yet, I feel the house is a prison. A place where I can hide for reality and yet I want out. I want to venture out of there but I have to face the loneliness. I guess these ideas are ideas for fodder to do.

Even doing work rids of the lonely feeling. Taking to the computer to a coffee shop. Taking the dog to the park or for a long walk.

Maybe, I should help out of the rehab that I went to. Talk to the guys in recovery especially the newcomers.

It seems that there is a lot of thing to do but you have to drive 15 to 20 miles to do something. Living in suburban OC is a nice place to live but it can leave one quite isolated because there is rows and rows of track homes around.

Once you drive about 15 miles to 22 miles, you can be in San Clemente, Laguna Beach, watching foreign films in Irvine theater, or walking around in Balboa Park.
Outside of shopping or other activities, Mission Viejo and Lake Forest have little to offer.

I guess what the lesson that I can learn from today is that I need to schedule out my Saturday and Sundays in better detail. I am going to start a hooping meetup that meets once a month to get rid of the boredom.

The boredom will only last two and half of months. By September, it will the NFL season and my boredom will disappear because there is endless amount of college and NFL football.
the air condition feels so good.

As discussed yesterday’s post, I should be grateful that I live in Southern California and not live in Arkansas. Because it is has been really hot in Arkansas last few week. And Arkansas does not have natural beauty that we have in California.


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Why I Like Living In California Fearing Change

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