Spiritual Recovery

March 14, 2009 at 9:45 pm Leave a comment

Spirituality has been one of the most difficult concepts in my life. I never really understand it and had to struggle to find my spiritual identity. I thought that I had be a Christian or else that I had no spirituality. Prior to my recovery, spirituality was not considered to be something important in life.

Now, I had to become spiritual to recover. The 12 steps of AA is spiritual form of recovery. The 12 steps are a universial spirituality and one that does not need existance of a God. Since my concept of God is very limited, I decided to go Agnostic because my concept of God will always be based on Christianity but science and logic makes me question that existence. In addition, Christian spirituality was not effective for me. It helped my friend Scott quit meth and it has lots of power. Believe, I have seen it.

For me, it looks that it easier for not to contemplate on the existance of God but rather focus on spiritual principles that bind us. Spirituality is defined by mindfulness, unconditional love, humility, sincerity, tolerance, and sense of collective bonding with community. The bonds of friendship get deeper and bonds will grow stronger. Relationships with female are based on deep unconditional love for the other person and spiritual and emotional bonding that is key for the sucess of the relationship

The key reason for this alternate spirituality is that I never have a reason to pick up drink again. When alcohol is around me, I choose to say “No” because my inner spiritual serenity is interrupted and a downward spirial that can destory everything that I work for will happen. My oneness with surrondings are disrupted and my ability to bond with other people is gone. It starts a downward spirial that will destroy my life. By understanding this, I do not have incentive to drunk when other people are getting drunk at BM events

In sense, I found a higher power that is greater than myself for these troubling times. It does not assume the existance of a God but rather a mystical concept of cosmic energy that i cannot explain or understand. I believe this energy exists because mankind is highly evolved being capable of spiritual power. For right now, I have found a spiritual existance keeps me sober.

I could fled Burning Man but in reality, my soberity depends on Burning Man. My concept of Burning Man has changed from a party scene into something intensively spiritual. I realize that people use mind-altering drugs and drink a lot here but I do not. I rather live by spiritual energy that Burning Man radiates and only in fully sober state can I realize that connection. Drugs and alcohol alter my ability to have a spiritual and emotional connection with people

In conclusion, recovery is a spiritual journey that we have to take if we are to deal with addictions. I do believe in alternative recovery other than 12-step and might someday facilitate a non 12-step self-help group.   It is the only way to live life for me.

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